Movie review: Finding Dory (2016) DVD

20:41:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

Finding Dory (2016) is out on DVD next month, it would make a fantastic Christmas gift!

I loved finding Nemo when it came out because it spoke about the importance of family, friendship and adventure. Finding Dory follows a very similar story line but yet it was different enough to entice me.

I absolutely loved it, I laughed and cried and laughed and cried some more. In this hunt for my own family, one that I haven't met yet, i'm searching for a sense of belonging.

on point

21:42:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

Apparently "on-point" is the same as spot on. I've been working with clients on the "bullseye" values chart lately and the idea is that you plot where your values, how important they are to you and then mark how closely you are living according to those values. When you are on point, you basically are living exactly according to those values.

On personal reflection, there are several areas of my life in which are on-point and several areas that are so far apart from where I want it to be.

Areas I think I'm doing well in:
- Travel
- Adventure
- Work
- Family
- Friends

Areas I need to work on:
- My relationship with God
- My own family -- haha, need to find a partner first.




I think the bullseye is great to use to determine the next decision in your life. Will making the next decision lead you closer to your values or pull you further away?


Life is short

21:59:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

Feels good to go to bed exhausted. I wonder if I can find a like minded person out there that lives life to its fullest!

Live it well- switchfoot


I want to live it well
I want to live it well
Take the burden from my arms
Take the anchors off my lungs
Take me broken
And make me one
Break the silence and make it a song
Life is short I want to live it well
One life, one story to tell
Life is short I want to live it well
And you’re the one I’m living for
Awaken, oh my soul!
Every breath that you take is a miracle
Life is short I want to live it well
I want to sing with all my heart a lifelong song
Even if some notes come out right and some come out wrong
’Cause I can’t take none of that through the door
I’m living for more than just a funeral
I want to burn brighter than the dawn
Life is short I want to live it well
One life, one story to tell
Life is short I want to live it well
And you’re the one I’m living for
Awaken, oh my soul!
Every breathe that you take is a miracle
Life is short I want to live it well
I got one life
And one love
I got one voice
But maybe that’s enough
’Cause with one heartbeat
And two hands to give
I got one shot
One life to live
One life to live
Every breath you take is a miracle
Life is short I want to live it well
Gangs of Palomar Publishing / Penny Farthing Music (ASCAP) c/o The Bicycle Music Company

10 years ago today

15:17:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

In our weekend catch up, a bunch of friends who have been friends for 10 years now, had a reflective discussion.

What did you think you would be able to accomplish by today, 10 years ago? What achievement are you most proud of?


The questions and their answers were so thought provoking, especially since I've grown up with these people over the last 10 years. Have I accomplished all that I thought I would? No. I have accomplished more than I think I would in different areas of my life, the things that were important to me then, are less important to me now though. God is truly magnificent as he slowly reveals his plans for me in my life. I look forward to spending the next 10 hopefully with the same group of friends. 

Me before you

20:54:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

Yes, do have tissues. I'm a hopeless romantic, and it's "funny", every time I say that phrase, I think of my dear friend. She passed away a few years ago from cancer and when we were young we would write novels, not just short stories but crazy novels and plays. Our teachers were so encouraging that they made a whole grade sit and watch up perform one of our plays.

This movie reminded me of our crazy adventures together. And this movie reminded me of every time she fell in love. Hopeless romantic. It's where you read the first page of a book and you dream up the rest of the story line. It's where you meet someone for the first time and can already imagine all the lovely adventures, arguments and life story you could have with them.

Sometimes I dream of meeting Mr Right. But then Mr Right would dream of meeting Mrs Right, not Miss I'mActuallyOk. And my dear friend used to dream of meeting Mr Right. And used a lot of her energy dreaming. And when her life was taken away, despite her best battles, I think she was still dreaming. After all, dreams are often better than realities.

It's funny how we have been conditioned to think that there will always be happy endings. That people would live happily ever after. But often, no always, life isn't that simple. And awakening from dreaming can cause use to feel quite shocked and out of place. There is life, there is death and there are all of the experiences in between. These experiences are all gifts.

As clique as it sounds, we should treasure each day. If we truly knew that our days under the sun were limited, how would we spend the time? Would we sit around and watch tv, hold grudges against people who cut us off in traffic, be sorry for ourselves because our own love story hasn't had a happy ending? Or would we really LIVE. Really experience all there is that life has to offer us.




What lies in the next chapter?

05:09:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

Just finished watching "inspector gourmet" and in it's last scene, one of the main characters says, "we don't know what the ending is, one thing is for certain, you will certainly find something new in the search". How apt the phrase. I had a chat with my ex-recently and he told me something I didn't want to hear, but was glad he said that I actually like being single. As much as I want to deny, I do enjoy this season of singleness God has given me. I like the idea of being in love, of being in a relationship and of being in a family. And perhaps one day I will have these things.

But when I smiled for no obvious reason while climbing up the stairs, I realised one thing. I can be happy without those things too. This time a few years ago, I was struggling to walk, had no permanent job, was still grieving over a lost relationship... let alone do stair climbs at work and feel completely free from relationship scars. I am thankful for the recent chapter, which was drawn to a close with a few meals with random strangers. This next chapter of my life, like all other chapters is going to be interesting, sometimes boring but nearly always epic. And the God that was with me from the beginning will surely reveal new and exciting adventures for me in the next chapter.

And it does feel good to be blogging again, a way for me to really capture what my thoughts are and document my progress and growth. I've missed this. Feels like I've found an old part of myself again, someone who is quite vulnerable and real...


Don't shoot the messenger

06:43:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

Sometimes God uses the funniest situations and people to teach us the things he really wants us to learn. I've had that experience over the last few weeks. A suddenly low in emotion after talking to a particular person. And then my heart became more and more confused with each interaction.

Sometimes we can get immediately annoyed at the messenger. But if we stepped back and meditate on God's word, you will find that it may have been a lesson from God for our growth all along.

It really does need a bit of a shock to step back and realise God was there all along, and that I didn't need to look for someone else to complete me, or fill this emptiness, but really really really needed to reconnect with God's people. This loneliness need not be solved by my own creativity but by God's own presence.

Thanks for the message God, received. So yes, God please help me not shoot the messenger. Over and out.


Moment of reflection

21:09:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

I enjoyed a nice long shower today and used it really to reflect on what has been going on in my life. I think I was taken on an automatic pilot ride without properly pausing to pray and, even when I did, I don't think I properly stopped to listen to the answer.

When I returned to my bedroom, I found out that I had forgotten to open the window so the glass had completely fogged up to a blank canvas for me to express what I felt. Yes, in that moment, all I could think about was love. But thankfully it wasn't a love of a particular man, but the creator of all men. I wrote "I love God" on the glass. Pause and think, what does that even mean. Sometimes I think I'm a lot like Peter. I would say something without properly considering the depth of what I am saying or the intention from which I am saying what I am saying. Actually, to clients I am all wise, to my own issues, I am just like every human being... sometimes I say things, and think if I say them enough, my heart will start to believe it. Or other times, I treat "love" as something that I can say but not act in accordance with. 

Let's be real. I love God. And although this love should be more important than anything, it often is not. I get consumed with my work. I get consumed by the excitement of adventure and risk. Oh, and I consume food, media, and information like a sponge. I have been feeling empty lately. Although things are going well for me, I have a lovely job, do plenty of exercise, have awesome friends and family but something was lacking. And I do feel like it's my relationship with God. There are two times in the day- morning and evening where our relationship are great. Then it's as if the rest of the day doesn't also belong to Him. I'm jealous, boastful, rude and impatient. I drive like I'm rushing to die, I get angry when storepeople treat me like a 6 year old, I am not truly listening when my friends talk to me at the end of the day. I continue to sin and try to make myself think like everything is ok. 

It's not. It hasn't been for a while. And there are several reasons for this. I have not confessed any of these sins. I am so far away from the body of God that I'm getting weak as an individual Christian. So yesterday, when I was able to spend time with people who are very close to God, I felt some completeness that I haven't felt for a while. Walking with and talking to people who are also humans (also with their own weaknesses) helped me remember the enormous power of being in fellowship with God through His people. 

I've said for the last 9 months that I would try to find a fellowship. I've even changed my work days to try to suit this... and yet, I am not in a fellowship yet. I think much more important than finding another running track, or next eatery or even next intimate friendship, I need to first get myself stronger as a Christian by being closer to the body of Christ.


Kintsugi (金継ぎ)

09:02:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

To repaired by Gold.

I recently had the opportunity to share a lot of my past history with a stranger. It's very rare to be on the other side of the story telling chair. Usually, I ask someone about their life history. I think it has been a blessing to be able to reflect on some of my past experiences.

In this history sharing experience, I was able to finally embrace the damage that has gone on before me, instead of hide it, and mend it with gold. The parts that were broken and worn are shown as part of who I am instead of hidden away, which is the art of kintsugi.

We had a sermon recently that pointed to this exact issue. God loves all of us, all our pain, all our flaws, and he has chosen to use His most precious gift to make us whole again, a new object who has experienced the same scars...


Behavioural activation

21:47:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

I've been feeling "blah" lately, as if I'm coming down with something, not a cold, almost depression. And just like the common cold, I wasn't sure what caused this bout of low mood... So I do what any therapist would do, I made sure I go out walking each day, out with friends, ringing any friend I can desperately to catch up with me.

Today I just went too far. I had a pretty "blah" day and felt flat because I forgot to bring my phone to work. So afterwork, without properly planning it, went for a 10km walk to a suburb I've never been to. Look quickly at map, that should be ok... then got lost, and more lost. When I eventually found it, it was already time for sunset.

No water, no food, just me, my phone with battery running out and a credit card. Starting to get dizzy and hips started to throb with pain, I reached out to a new friend for help. I do believe God provides people in times of need, and although these strangers may not stay in your life for a long time, I was very grateful for this stranger today, provided me with just what I needed.

And now, safely back home, I am ready for my next adventure, learning that I need to be more prepared when I go on my next epic adventure tomorrow.





When you break up with your best friend

20:40:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

The biggest fear is when you date your best friend and you break up, you will lose that friend all together. When you are used to talking about anything and nothing together, then suddenly you lose that, it's a big emptiness. Out of desperation, it's often easier to try to fill that void. And over the weekend, I think I did. A whole TV series in 2 days. I'm exhausted.

It's not hard to be single at age 30, especially if you have enough friends, have heaps of hobbies and am a workaholic. The hardest things is to miss your best friend.

Today's sermon talked about forgiveness within relationships. Forgiveness isn't a feeling- you don't have to remove feelings of guilt, anger, missing, sadness in order for it to be forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice, it's an action. Forgiveness is not forgetting, it's a deliberate choice to not remember faults or how you perceive the other person to have wronged you.

Sitting here alone, and on reflection, I am very thankful for the relationship that was. I am very thankful for the things I've learned about myself and about how to be in a relationship. Would I make the same mistakes again, probably, but hopefully I'm more willing to be forgiving in my next relationship.


Single at 30 #singleat30

20:44:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

When I grew up, I was bought up to believe that I would have to be married and expecting by 30. And indeed, I have many peers who are in that position, some of them living the dream, so of them struggling.

Recently, I made the decision to be single again, just after my 30th birthday. It's a scary world out there, after 30, suddenly being alone is considered rare and undesirable. To me, it's exciting but extremely scary at the same time.

What really surprised me was how good it was to buy an amazing pair of shoes at a discounted price felt. I've become one of those people. Yes, those #singleat30 or #singleafter30 females who spend too much time working to advance their career and find it difficult to carve out time to do little else, and sometimes buying these things fills my heart at least for the time being. I could now spend the next 5 paragraphs talking about the fantastic pair of adidas I bought today at a steal of a price, but I will not.

Instead, I will talk about my experience with trying to find a lover. It's a futile experience, because I have unrealistic expectations. As much as I understand that I can't find someone that can possibly meet those expectations I have, I still get myself into a bind each and every time. No one can fill my heart and make me whole besides Jesus. And in the last week since my break up, I have spent so much more time being with my Lover than ever. I am spending time singing hymns, reading the bible and writing out bible verses. It's like I've rekindled something I haven't felt for a while now. And I feel whole.

Will I ever try to find love again? Probably, after all I'm a hopeless romantic, but next time around, I will try my best to still put my Lord first and not forsake the closeness of my relationship with God, putting aside unrealistic expectations that some other human being can possibly compete with that.


Updating my age

18:18:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments




30 ... does it feel different? No. Turning 18 allowed me to be legally adult. Turning 21 was a large celebration. Now 30?

Well, I almost forgot that it was my birthday, in fact, I worked 2 jobs on my 30th birthday, and was lucky enough to grab ramen after work with my brother. Other than that, it was a peaceful birthday. (I mean, I was fortunate enough to celebrate with my family and friends in little dinner and lunch gatherings leading up to my birthday, those were really excuses to catch up rather than a celebration).

By 30 I thought I would be less childish and wiser. Well it seems that's tied to your personality and not a number. I am still out there having epic adventures, so here's to the next 30 :D

Relationships are hard. Even for a therapist.

16:57:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

I'm not quite sure why people assume that therapist have perfect lives with perfect relationships. I've been to many conferences now where my colleagues all report real world problems just like the rest of the world. If doctors are allowed to be overweight, sick, and sleep deprived, why can't therapists have relationship problems?
Isn't that when you should use assertive communication? Yes, probably. The funny thing is that even with assertiveness, one still needs to make a choice. Choices always have consequences some obvious some less obvious. And when you have two people with different values and upbringings, you might not reach a win win outcome.
In amongst all of this, I keep forgetting that prayer is also a choice and more often than not, the answer.
So I wonder what the outcome of this prayer for guidance will be.


Sounds of silence

07:55:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

Australia has made it into the Eurovision song contest final!



I think that's how I felt last night sleeping alone in this big house as my family is away. I think one of the appeals of this song is that we are more "connected" to people than ever before, but deep down, we are still feeling lonely. Yes, I am connected via facetime, facebook, whatsapp, text messages, but to feel alone still is natural and normal. We weren't designed to rely on these forms of communication to feel whole.


Lyrics https://www.eurovision.tv/event/lyrics?event=2133&song=33703

Performer: Dami Im
Song title: Sound Of Silence
Music by: DNA (David Musumeci & Anthony Egizii)
Lyrics by: DNA (David Musumeci & Anthony Egizii)

Verse 1
Growing tired and weary brown eyes
Trying to feel your love through face time
Symphonies of dreams and highlights
Caught up in this crazy fast life
But baby you're not here with me
And I keep calling calling
Keep calling cause

Chorus
Now my heart awakes to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence
Now my heart awakes to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence

Verse 2
Getting hard to break through the madness
You're not here it never makes sense
Tidal waves of tears are crashing
No one here to save me drowning
Cause baby you're not here with me
And I keep calling calling
Keep calling cause

Chorus
Now my heart awakes to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence
Now my heart awakes to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence

Bridge
I know I'm stronger and I'm capable
I know it's all in my head
But I keep calling calling
Calling calling

Chorus
Now my heart awakes to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence
Now my heart awakes to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence
And it beats to the sound of silence




The Big 3-0 : Reviewing my 30 before 30 list.

10:29:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

I hit the big 3-0 this week and have had many celebrations with my closest friends. It might be old age, or simple enjoying quality time, but I have really enjoyed with having dinner separately with each individual rather than with a bunch of people.


When I created the 30 before 30 list for myself almost 5 years ago, I considered myself young and hopeful. I had recently gone through some heart break and was still completing my PhD. The last 5 years have been tough, it's been good, it's been challenging, and I've been blessed.


Here is my list in review.
#1 finish my PhD/masters Dec 2014
It seems so long ago. There were so many times I thought I would quit because it's was a difficult journey. So many times I prayed and ask for motivation to finish, and in the end, God granted me quite a miracle and a very supportive family to celebrate with. I was so blessed to have the many experiences of working in both child and adult clinics, in Qld, Sydney, Melbourne and Seattle as part of my degree. I grew in independence through these travels and confidence as a evidence-based practitioner. 

#2 get down to goal weight according to my GP Feb 2015
Not quite at my goal goal weight but having left the obese category, that was a more realistic goal. The thing about losing weight is that it comes to find you again. I am not far more content with my weight that I was ever before, even though I weight more now that 10 years ago. I am fitter and stronger both physically and mentally. 

#3 finish half marathon July 2015
I was incredibly shocked that I was able to cross the finish line considering that I had sprained my ankle, was worried about a potential heart condition (that thanks to God was just in my head) and was still able to do another 10 km that day on the Story Bridge. Semi unrealistic goal, but done and dusted. Was slightly itching to do another half or full marathon, but probably want to pace and train in advance. 

#4 fall in love, get married and start a family
Haven't quite got there yet, but this goal was quite important to me. It just made me try to get out of my selfish little shell and actually make friends who were guys. And in the process, I got to know myself a bit more. The pressure of meeting this deadline was a gentle push, I'm glad I didn't commit to someone just to meet the deadline. 

#5 go to Europe April 2014
Bit of an epic whirlwind tour of England, Amsterdam, Brussels ... And i am so grateful that I was able to visit these places. Because when the terrorism events of late were broadcasted on the tv, I felt a bit more empathy for the people who were there, and a bit more of a connection to the place. 

#6 visit Ice Sculpture festival in Northern China
This was more to commemorate my late grandfather than a personal endeavour. I'm not sure how I'd go in -40 degrees Celsius, and for me at the time, it was another challenge. So, no, haven't done this year, but haven't stopped thinking about it! 

#7 See a meteor shower August 2013
In order to satisfy this criteria, I camped out in insane temperatures on the balcony I had restored for this occasion. Sadly, I haven't been out to the balcony very much after that. At least I can now say I can do it!

#8 watch a live Christian concert done May 2012
The definition of Live has morphed over the course of the last decade. I attended a live stream of a worldwide christian concert and felt like i was part of it. Still to attend a live one though. 

#9 have a wardrobe I am proud of Feb 2013
It started in 2013, and probably ended a few years ago. Haven't not changed in since since I was in high school, I ended up with plenty of clothes I would never wear. Being a uni student for more than a decade also made me purchase ill-fitting cheap clothes to last it out. And if by God's grace, the clothes started to slowly break apart as I finished uni and got a job. So over the last few years, and definitely last few months, I have been throwing away and donating clothes that no longer fit or I will never wear again. 

#10 learn how to take good pictures- well I think they are ok these days
No, not a professional photographer yet, but I'm not too shabby. I am happy that I am able to document the things I see, the food I eat and the people I meet. When my memory fades one day, I will have these glossy prints and digital images to reflect upon. Two key tips I have learned, law of thirds, take multiple shots and choose the best :P

#11 improve cooking skills Jan 2015
Having many opportunities to live out of home has forced me to become a domestic slave. I have had the opportunities to test new cooking skills. Last year, ordering food boxes with recipes expanded my cooking skills. 

#12 swim with the dolphins
went to swim with dolphins as part of a tour, seriously tried but there were only seals there, but there were dolphins somewhere in the ocean where i was, so i guess it kind of counts. I would probably still want to go on a dolphin swim at some point. I heard that you can swim with pink dolphins in Singapore!

#13 watch my best friends get baptized
No, not yet. It's a little beyond my control, but my bad role modelling certainly didn't help. 

#14 10km run in under an hour
Didn't quite make the mark, always a little over the one hour mark. As I age, it's more about completion than competition. And I have completed several 10km runs in the last few years. 

#15 white water rafting done August 2012
This was epic. I remember the drive well, yes on the other side of the road in USA into the woods by myself and then joining a group for white water rafting. I often remember the safety instructions- make sure you don't reach and help someone else if they fall off. And what did I do? Reach out and get chucked off the raft myself. 

#16 shower in a waterfall- done September 2014
It was a surreal experience really, driving into the great outback of Australia and finding a waterfall with both mum and I swimming out to the waterfall. It's rougher than I expected. 

#17 be in a flash mob done May 2012
As part of the pilates practice at the time, I was involved in a women's health flash mob to promote fitness in woman. Lots of practice, heaps of laughs, and slightly disjointed execution. 

#18 be confident my clothes
I think it helped that I started to chuck out ill-fitting clothes. But confidence didn't come from the clothes I wore but within.

#19 clear up my skin  August 2013
It was a tough year to clear up my skin with diet change and medication but it has gained me confidence and health. 

#20 learn to parallel park
Still struggling honestly, but having to parallel park everyday (only have street parking at my work), I have learned how to do it, not well, but I have learned. 

#21 learn the guitar- ukulele count 
I tried, so many times, I went to lessons at a community centre, took lessons online and practiced at home. It just wasn't for me. I did however still pick up a few chords on the ukulele. 

#22 eat at a hatted restaurant 2014 for monica's hen's night.
At the time I was absolutely broke. So to be able to pay for a Q1 climb and hatted restaurant was crazy expensive. Worth it though for my best friend. 

#23 help with micro financing 2013
I have helped micro financing several projects now in various third world countries in the world. 

#24 forgive wishing him all the best
this one was for one particular person. Yes, no hard feelings at all, for real these days. 

#25 go on a mission trip 
funded several, went amongst the drinkers. 

#26 sponsor a child 2013
I have been sponsoring Samuel since 2013, and I have seen him graduate from school. 

#27 buy a house  2013
I bought a little cupboard sized unit overlooking the ocean. Location over quality they say. This is a huge drain on my resources, and I may get rid of this little hole for a more functional living space.

#28 see the Northern Lights
No, didn't get a chance, but with so many family members having taken the route, I'm sure it's a manageable feat. 

#29 visit Disneyland done July 2012
Went to disneyland CA, in 103 degree heat, in line for hours and hours but enjoyed the time together with my makeshift family. I also went to HK disneyland with my boyfriend on a date that was also hot and sweaty but enjoyable never the less. 

#30 Save a life- done May 2012
Shortly after finishing my 30 before 30 list, a bunch of friends from church went to a waterpark together. I saved a life, dived in and scooped out a almost drowning friend. 

In all of that, yes, didn't complete the entire list, but certainly completed a big chunk of the list. So the question is... given my 30/30 experience, what have a learned and will I do it again? 

I learned that setting goals helped me propel change. External reinforcement is probably more important than internal reinforcement for some aspects. I learned that I did not feel regret for not completing all the list, because those things weren't really as important to me as I thought. And I have had experiences beyond what was included in the list- explored other regions of the world, established better long term habits and met some pretty amazing people. And because I was busy being me, I spend less and less time blogging and more and more time living. 

Would I do it again? Another 30 no. Not necessary. At this stage of my life, it's not so much as ticking things off my list but living according to my values everyday, every month, every year. 

So for the next 10 years, I will review my values yearly and see how I'm fairing. for the next year, the values I am focusing on are:

- GOD
- Relationships with family and friends
- Travel and propelling the #touristinmyhometown movement
- Fitness and health 
- Career success



Capsule wardrobe for emotional health

22:03:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

Last year, I bought 2 new dressers because I ran out of room in my double mirrored wardrobe. Yet, despite all the clothes and all the wardrobe space, I found that I couldn't find what I wanted to wear AND I always ended up wearing the same 2 pairs of pants, 3 t-shirts and jacket anyway.

I have been purging my wardrobe lately. Last weekend, I threw out 7 pairs of shoes including a pair of shoes I wore to my high school formal, and between you and me, that was decades ago. This weekend, I threw away a large garbage bag full of winter gear including purple and green tights I believe I only wore once, in the store where I bought them. I am hoping someone somewhere will get good use of these useless items of clothing I am donating.

How does it feel getting rid of the stuff? Amazingly great. And my plan for the rest of the year is to slowly throw out the clothes that a) don't fit b) don't fit well c) don't fit my style and functions I require. And if I am going to keep clothes for sentimental reasons, surely I can just take a photo of it in an app and keep that!

This is not a new concept, capsule wardrobes have done their rounds on pinterest, facebook and blogs. Capsule wardrobes are also a great idea for good emotional health. In fact, it's based on rules of minimalism. Only have what actually adds value.

When we only focus on our values, the clutter no longer becomes important, and I can finally give away the first scarf I knitted for a guy I liked and never gave away, as well as those pants I thought I would be able to fit into. The visual reminders of these things never did me any favours. Instead, I have my four pairs of uniqlo pants, and the same adidas shirt in four colours which I can wear at work and at play. All these things kind of go together, so in the morning, I don't really have to check if things match or if they fit me, because I know it does. And instead of the time I would spend matching clothes, and trying things on in the morning, I actually have time to read the bible and do a bit of stretching.


Wardrobe purging:
http://bridgetteraes.com/2015/01/07/wardrobe-purging-why-you-will-have-more-to-wear-when-you-own-less/


TEN- ITEM WARDROBE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3CLRL32Mcw#t=799.011723


Written in black and white

21:40:00 Kikoprincess 0 Comments

This issue has caused real stress for me once before. When I went to Seattle in 2011, I lived with a lady and her dog which was introduced to me through someone at work. What I had signed up for turned out entirely different to what I got. Instead of the two of us in one bathroom, and a bedroom to enjoy in peace and quiet, the lady had frequent house parties in which I was asked to attend, and the house was eventually filled with 5 people sharing the one bathroom. I am an extrovert outside the home, but at home, I like to chill and spend me time. So the arrangement wasn't working out for me. I began to spend more and more time away from home, often trying to return after she had retired to her own bedroom. Instead of a sanctuary, it became a place of criticism and fear. I spent many nights crying to my God for redemption and asking how I can love people who are so mean to me. Eventually, she called me to the living room and asked me to leave the house. I asked her when, and she said she would give me 24 hours to remove my stuff.

So here's the thing. I was in a different country, I didn't have a car. And I really didn't have anywhere I could go. It was a dark day for me. Still, with that 24 hour limit, I went to church that Sunday. Within the day, I had found another place to stay, and someone from church picked me up and took me there. How that situation ended was another story but it involved staying in an air bnb place with no curtains and back door lock. Then the next place is also another story, sleeping on an inflatable camp mattress in a friend's house that was about to sell (hence no furniture). 

That period of my life was tough. Sometimes I forget about it because I also had some amazing adventures that year. I met some wonderful people. And I grew in confidence. 

The last three weeks reminded me much of that. My baby brother started a new job in Redcliffe, Queensland. And he looked at Flatmates.com.au for potential places. He contacted Person A and said he wanted to move in 10 feb until he found his feet. Person A then asked him when he wanted to have a look, and they arranged to view on 2 Feb. He liked the place, and Person A asked him to put down a 4 week deposit and bond of $400. My brother went on his merry way and moved in on 14 Feb. 

Things started to get a bit dodgy after he moved in. He was told he needed to pay additional money for air conditioning and internet since he was there during the day. My brother was like, fine, let's avoid arguments. New house rules kept being introduced, like not being able to use rubbish bags. She started to host Air bnb hostings without informing my brother. She hosted parties at her place without informing my brother, and moved his personal belongings into his room without asking him when he guests were around. 

Last week, the lady gave notice to my brother about being behind in his rent. This is right after my brother told her he would be moving on in April and forwarded her another 4 weeks rent in advance. WOW. My brother was like, no, should still have a week before he would be behind, but no, the lady thought that his rental started on 2 feb. And they communicated via text because my brother worked night shifts or otherwise located very far away. She started making personal attacks at him, very very very long extended text messages throughout the day... text is the lowest form of communication, you will never be in a relationship, etc. 

My brother, being quite unhappy about the situation came home to talk to us about it, and after praying said he would suffer in silence with the lady for another month. But just as he spoke to us about it, the lady called and said "I want you out of my house now". So my brother was forced to drive 1.5 hours to go pick up his stuff, all the time, she was hovering around him and commenting. He was going to remove the bedsheets to wash, and she screamed at him to get out... "I never want to see you again"... Took his keys, and that was that. 

I was frankly quite shocked that this kind of thing still happens. What is even more shocking were the text messages and communication that followed. After kicking my brother out and taking his keys, she asked him for $100 for cleaning (not that he was given an opportunity to clean when she not so politely asked him to leave straight away taking his keys), extra rent for time between 2 feb and 10 feb, extra rent for not giving 2 weeks written notice that he was leaving (after telling him to get out and not giving him keys). 

All this would have been easier if there was written documentation at the beginning, and if my brother, first time renter, was given his rights and responsibilities. Everyone who has heard this story has provided me with feedback saying that it seems to be a shady deal and that it's likely that this lady is taking advantage of the fact my brother is a first time renter, and time poor. I think that she will try this again with future tenants. 

I am so distressed in this situation. I pray that God will fight for us, and we are still waiting for his mighty will. I am so stressed. I really want to contact the residential tenancy agency to ask for advice, but my brother does not want to make the situation big so that he can be a good christian role model. It is extremely hard to go through this injustice, but so much harder being the bystander. 

Sure, my brother has learned some life lessons about making sure things are written in black and white. I would caution people who move to queensland to check the residential tenancy agency website to understand their rights. I would caution people to have things in writing and not just rely on verbal agreements. And probably never move in with an older lady in 4 Duffield St, Redcliffe QLD unless you have something in writing.